Noahwp2

​I am having a science fair at my school. I am working on how to determine the landing spot of free falling objects and I am working alone. I like the experiment because it is fun and it will fall and it is hard to keep the thing up. If I fail I fail and if I don't I don't but I respect the turn out.

The science fair is due December 9th, 2009. I did it at my house already and it was a sucsess!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will endure and really hard before the fair and hope it will work. I just picked the experiment because it will be lots of fun. I did it and not in suprise but I did it the day before yesterday. (Sunday)

It is my first experiment and its not a havoc! Well even though I would soon realize this it shall b​e long until its due! I hope I have enough time. It will look funny because of my presentation board. It was hard to do it though I did it correct.

Today I figured out my mom will help me one because its my first year here and two my brothers gone and he can't help me. If I do it tonight it will probably work because last time I didnt read it! I need to listen to my mom to get it right. If I do it with my mom it will be easy. I did it without my mom and it was hard.

Thank you for the support that I probably dont know about, but anyway my science project is fun because it is cooler than others. I will never stop my science project until it's done. I will do it again tonight and this is why I say it again, IT WILL WORK! I like my science project because it was easy but it was hard.

Finally, my conclusion is that my science fair project is going to be great. Altogether everything is fun. I hope you come to our science fair it's again December 9th, of course 2009. We will be happy if you come please make it.

This is the beginning of a good essay.See it you can correct the highlighted parts. Also, your project sounds fun and interesting and I hope you do really well in the fair!!

I am having a science fair at my school. I am working on how to determine the landing spot of free falling  objects. And I am working alone. I like the experiment because it is fun and it will fall and it it is hard to keep the thing up. If I fail I fail and if I dont  I dont but I respect the turn out.

The science fair is due December 9th, 2009. I did it at my house already and it was a sucsess !!!!!!!!!!!!! I will endure and really hard before the fair and hope it will work. I just picked the experiment because it will be lots of fun. I did it and not in suprise but I did it the day before yesterday.(Sunday)

It is my first experiment and its not a havoc! Well even though I would soon realize this it shall be long until its due! I hope I have enough time. It will look funny because of my presentation board. It was hard to do it though I did do it right.

Today I figured out my mom will help me 1 because its my first year here and 2 my brothers gone and he <span style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: teal;">cant help <span style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: red;">me.If I do it tonight it will probably work because last time I <span style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: teal;">didnt read <span style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: red;">it ! I need to listen to my mom to get it right. If I do it with my mom it will be <span style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: red;">easy.I did it without my mom and it was hard.

Thank you for the support that I probably <span style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: teal;">dont know about, but anyway my science project is fun because it is cooler than others. I will never stop my science project until <span style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: teal;">its done. I will do it again tonight and this is why I say it <span style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: purple;">again IT WILL WORK! I like my science project because it was easy but it was hard.

<span style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: purple;">Finally my conclusion is that my science fair project is going to be great. Altogether everything is fun. I hope you come to our science fair <span style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: teal;">its again December 9th, of course 2009. We will be happy if you come please make it.

<span style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: yellow;">See if you can combine these two sentences into one. <span style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: lime;">A run-on sentence; see if you can break this one down in way that makes since. <span style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: aqua;">Spelling errors and numbers and ten are spelled out. <span style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: fuchsia;">See if you can rewrite this sentence to make what you are trying to say more clear. <span style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: red;">Check spacing. <span style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: teal;">Break down contractions into two words. <span style="-moz-background-clip: border; -moz-background-inline-policy: continuous; -moz-background-origin: padding; background: purple;">Commas are needed, proof read your essay and see if you might need anymore.